Thursday, October 26, 2006

Japanese a closer view – Family & Love

Today I was thinking what to write and how to make it useful for the readers. Many ideas flew in my mind but nothing impressed me of writing about. Finally I have decided to write a series of articles like Family and Love, Food and Leisure finally Wealth and Culture. Starting with my series this blog will talk on the first aspect Family and Love.

What I heard from my Japanese friends that the Japanese family structure is somewhat same as our Indian joint family. I can see the Grand parents, parents and children and grand children are staying together in some places here. However this is not common in all the places in the modern Japan. In the recent past Japanese women fought for freedom from the men dominated family structure. Earlier it used to be the man who leads the family and earn the income to run the family and women to take care of the children, house and other related things. I have also read in the history articles, in the ancient day’s Japanese male use to get marry and settle with his wife’s family, but it does not exist now. The Japanese families are identified with their family crest, a symbol for each family. This is called in Japanese language as Ka-mon. One can identify this ka-mon in the family member’s kimonos like a badge. The ladies in the family can wear both husband’s family crest and her father’s family crest. In this case the father’s family crust size will be smaller than the husband family’s crest.

In the modern worlds, even now the Japanese marriages are happening with the approval of the Girls parents. To initiate a marriage the Girl takes her boyfriend to her house and introduce to her parents, during this meeting the Girl’s father is the key person taking the decision. Normally it will happen in a very formal way, unlike the western family culture during this meeting the Guy should act not to touch or Kiss the Girl in front of her parents. Also during this meeting the Boy will be interviewed by the father of Girl for his future plans etc. In a normal case they will be expecting a boy to plan for at least 10 years of his future.

My personal observation is that, the male female personal relationship after marriage is gradually getting reduced while comparing their before marriage scenario. People here claim that this is due to the busy work schedule and the dedication towards work of a Japanese male.

I have no idea how it would have been in the history, but the current scenario, Japanese females evaluate a person based on his lifestyle and wealthiest nature. It was said to be big no for having physical interactions like touching, kissing, holding hands etc in the public places. However it’s not fully true, as I myself have spotted several interactions during my stay here. In fact if they find a little private area, they make all such physical interactions in the public places. Holding hands and kiss are not so restricted in the trains. Especially in the crowded trains during peak office hours on can see many such actions by the young Japanese couple.
Basically even the meetings of Japanese young couple happen once in a week or so, for many reason it is widely accepted. Those simple reasons are that the boys are fully involved in the work, due to traveling distances and the higher cost of train fares and burden of shopping with the girl etc. In Japan the females are seems to be more active than male in terms of love and affection.

Love with a foreigner is something which is a rare sight here, as only in exceptional cases Japanese and non Japanese couples are found. Many of the love relationship are getting initiated from the high school level with the classmates. Those who were crossed high school without a partner then they find them in the work places. It is believed to be like a handicap if a person couldn’t find his/her partner by them. Such cases the parents will be finding the appropriate partner for their children.

to be continued[Food & Leisure]...

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